"Are they relative of yours ?
"A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, 'Are they relatives of yours?' 'Yes,' his wife replied. 'I married into the family.' "
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
"Fighting With the Devil "
"It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, ""We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."" Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, ""It's not all my fault either; she's tough to get along with.
"It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, ""We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."" Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, ""It's not all my fault either; she's tough to get along with.
Friend For Dinner
"""Honey,"" said this husband to his wife, ""I invited a friend home for supper."" ""What?... Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"" ""I know all that."" ""Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"" ""Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."" "
"""Honey,"" said this husband to his wife, ""I invited a friend home for supper."" ""What?... Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"" ""I know all that."" ""Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"" ""Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."" "
Good Reason
"A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession...even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, ""Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"" "
"A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession...even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, ""Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"" "
Good Relationship
"""Mary,"" asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, ""what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?"" ""Another woman with MY husband?"" Mary thought it over. ""Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."" "
"""Mary,"" asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, ""what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?"" ""Another woman with MY husband?"" Mary thought it over. ""Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."" "
House Calls
"Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, ""Do you have a hammer?"" A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, ""Do you have a chisel?"" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, ""What are you doing to my wife?"" ""Not a thing,"" replied old doc Carver. ""I can't get my instrument bag open."" "
"Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, ""Do you have a hammer?"" A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, ""Do you have a chisel?"" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, ""What are you doing to my wife?"" ""Not a thing,"" replied old doc Carver. ""I can't get my instrument bag open."" "
Husband and the Genie
"There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie's lamp. The genie came out and said,"" Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double."" The guy didn't like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said, ""Genie, I want a house in Hawaii."" POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn't make him happy but, he made his second wish. ""Genie,I want 2 billion dollars."" POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion. By now, this guy isn't very happy. The genie says,""You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you wish for your wife gets double."" The guy says,"" Yeah, yeah.I know."" So the guy thinks real hard and says "" I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!!"" "
"There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie's lamp. The genie came out and said,"" Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double."" The guy didn't like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said, ""Genie, I want a house in Hawaii."" POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn't make him happy but, he made his second wish. ""Genie,I want 2 billion dollars."" POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion. By now, this guy isn't very happy. The genie says,""You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you wish for your wife gets double."" The guy says,"" Yeah, yeah.I know."" So the guy thinks real hard and says "" I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!!"" "
New Wife
"A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, ""Honey, if I died would you get married again?"" The man said, ""No dear."" The women said, ""I'm sure you would."" So the man said, ""Okay, I would"" Then the women asked, ""Would you let her sleep in our bed?"" And the man replied, ""Ya, I guess so."" Then the women asked, ""Would you let her use my golf clubs?"" And the man replied, ""No, she's left handed."" "
"A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, ""Honey, if I died would you get married again?"" The man said, ""No dear."" The women said, ""I'm sure you would."" So the man said, ""Okay, I would"" Then the women asked, ""Would you let her sleep in our bed?"" And the man replied, ""Ya, I guess so."" Then the women asked, ""Would you let her use my golf clubs?"" And the man replied, ""No, she's left handed."" "
Bollywood gossip
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 min if they are brothers).
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die).
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) Miss
a) Run out of bullets.
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) Pots
a) Barrels
a) Glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 min if they are brothers).
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die).
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) Miss
a) Run out of bullets.
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) Pots
a) Barrels
a) Glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Bollywood bloppers
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam bloopers!
1) Amitabh is using the Nokia communicator in 1992 whereas Nokia itself launched it from 1998 onwards. May be he is a secret test dummy for Nokia!
2) Amitabh singing "aye kya bolti tu" in Diwali of 1992 whereas the song was released in 1997 in the movie Ghulam. Guess he has esp.
3) But the mother of all Flaws in the Movie K3G is when Hrithik is kid he has 10 fingers...when he grows up he has Eleven
4) Last ball of the cricket match. 1 ball and 6 runs needed. Guess what, the ball is shining and unused!!
5) The fatso 'Laddu' turns into Hrithik 10 years later, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever are the same after 10 years!!
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam bloopers!
1) Amitabh is using the Nokia communicator in 1992 whereas Nokia itself launched it from 1998 onwards. May be he is a secret test dummy for Nokia!
2) Amitabh singing "aye kya bolti tu" in Diwali of 1992 whereas the song was released in 1997 in the movie Ghulam. Guess he has esp.
3) But the mother of all Flaws in the Movie K3G is when Hrithik is kid he has 10 fingers...when he grows up he has Eleven
4) Last ball of the cricket match. 1 ball and 6 runs needed. Guess what, the ball is shining and unused!!
5) The fatso 'Laddu' turns into Hrithik 10 years later, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever are the same after 10 years!!
Photosession at Bihar
"After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle. He poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper..... GUESS THE CAPTION ""Laloo, third from left."" "
"After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle. He poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper..... GUESS THE CAPTION ""Laloo, third from left."" "
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