Thursday, December 20, 2007

Maa ka pyaar JOke
 
A man masturbates everyday and kept his sperms in different bottles. One day a friend comes and asks, what are all these bottles?
Man: YEH SAB MERE BACHCHE HAIN, JINKO MAA KA PYAAR NAHI MILA
 

Two assholes JOke

Doctor: How can you say that Aparna has two holes in her ass?

rajesh: Whenever I and Ramesh go with her to any party, people say, HERE COMES Aparna WITH TWO ASSHOLES

 

Agar mein BRA hota JOke

Boy: Agar mein BRA hota, toh tere BOOBS se chipka rehta

Girl: Maadarchot, mein kisi aur se dabwa rahi hoti, aur tu khidki pe latka hota

Non veg jokes
Middle Stump Joke
Cricket ke middle stump aur aadmi ke middle stump mein kya farak hai?
Answer: Ek hari ghaas mein khada rehta hai, aur doosra KALE GHAAS MEIN PADA REHTA HAI
 
CURIOUS HUSBAND Joke
 
 Lady after delivering baby was getting some stitches. The curious husband peeping through the window knocked and asked shyly: Doctor, Pura toh nahi siloge na?
 
Table se Gir Gaya.....

Pappu entered in class having a PLASTER on his right arm.

TEACHER: Pappu , What to your arm?

PAPPU:  Sir, actually yesterday fell from LOG TABLE.

mirchmasalla by surya
ek sardar 1st april ko bus me chardha ticket checker bola ticket sardar dus rupayee diyee or bola oyee ye dekh mare pass to bus pass hai maine april full banaya ha ha ha
Hare RAM Hare KRISHANA

Sir says - What is d color of Ram & Krishana ?

Sardar - They are both r Green in color..

Sir - How ?.............

 

Sardar - bcoz all says that ..... Hare Ram & Hare Krishana...

 

I DON'T CARE
Ek baar chalti hui BUS me kuchh TERRORRIST ghus aaye. Bandook taan kar bole ,"Jiske paas jo kuch bhe ho, jalad se jald nikaal de, VARNA ! ! !" "VARNA kya ? goli maroge", kisi musaphir ne puchha. " Goli ! ! hhh.. goli nahi, mere paas AIDS ka tika hai,jo nahi maana ,tika laga denge. Saalo saari umar pachhtayoge"Atankwadi bola. Sabi ne jalad se jald sub kuch atankvadiyon k saamne dher kar diya. Magar ek SARDAR G na hile.Ade rahe.Bole-main nahi darta, PUNJABI PUTTAR hoo, kisi se nahi darta. Sabhi ne bahut samjhaya k sardarG AIDS ho gayee to jaan se 100% hath dho loge. Magar SARDAR G na maane. ATANKVADIYON ne SARDAR G k tika laga diya.Aur samaan le k furrr ho gaye. MUSAFIR:-"Are SARDAR G ! !kya aap ne kuchh paiso ki khatir jaan gawa li." SARDAR:Aoye main nahi darta. MUSAFIR:Are aap kyon nahi darte? Sardar apne PAYJAAMA utarta hai aou bolta hai"Ye dekho maine pahle se NIROD pahan rakha hai."
85

There was the 85 year old woman
who found her husband in bed with another woman.

She was so enraged that she dragged him to the balcony of their high-rise apartment and pushed him to his death.

When she appeared in court, the judge asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.

"Well Your Honor," she replied, "I figured if at 92 he he could make
love, he could fly too."

MAMLA Rs.3000/- DA

"ONCE SARDAAR GOES TO PROSTITUDE "RITA"

        RITA MEET HER & SAYS IF U WANA SEX WITH ME ONCE A TIME DOING SEX RATE IS Rs.1000.00

SARDAR: NO OBJECTION

AFTER HE DID SEX HE GAVE Rs.1000.00 & GONE.

NEXT DAY HE CAME AGAIN AND DO ONCE AGAIN SEX AND GIVEN Rs.1000.00

AND THIRD DAY HE CAME AGAIN DID SEX WITH RITA & GIVEN HER Rs.1000.00 & & & &  & &  & & & &

SARDAR SAYS TO RITA  I M FROM DELHI WHERE UR SISTER IS LIVING AND SHE GIVING ME THREE THOUSAND AND SHE SAID TO ME I GAVE U THIS AMOUNT.

 

Rain
This man and a Bengali were walking down the street when the clouds opened up and a tremendous downpour commended.

Man: 'Bengali babu, put up your damned umbrella, man, it's raining!'
 
'Bengali babu:'I can't. It's got holes in it.' 'Holes in it?
 
Man:Then why did you bring it with you?'
 
'Bengali babuL: 'I didn't think it would rain.'
Yamraj joke

yamraj: ur time is over

Girl: is there any way to escape?

yamraj: if u can kiss d the person who is reading this mgs

girl : chee.....yack.... thu.......better i prefer die..........

sms jokes

when a man holds a women's hand before marriage ,it is love ,after marriage it is seld-defence

soldier

 During War , Enemy soldier surrounded 3 nuns, he removed his pants , young nun pleaded - " PLS SPARE THE OLDER NUN."

Older Nun - " SHUT UP ! WAR IS WAR"

Sardar Plan 
 
" There is a group of 7 Sardars who plan to meet their old friend the Principal Zail Singh The Sardars decide to take a taxi. The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The meter shows Rs. 28/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-." Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e. 7. This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer: ____ 7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ). 7 – 21 21 – 0 – The driver is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of the Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of happiness is writtern on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way. Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake. They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the Principal of the nation! They ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare. Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi driver and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very often. The process is slow but is sure." The other sardars nod their heads (?) in appreciation. The Principal writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on: 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 – 28 – i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+ 3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+ 1+1=28 so this checks out. He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend and Finance man Banta Singh. Banta Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that he doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify it via mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication. That is the best technique for this, you see!" While others watch in admiration, Banta Singh goes on to write as shown: 13 x7 — (7*3=21 ,7*1=7 so 21+7=28) 21 + 7 – 28 This checks out as well. – Then he says, "This is really fine. There should be no problem, Principal Sahab. After all, it is correct in all the methods." "