Monday, December 24, 2007

Full form of "CAPSTAN"

The full form of abreviated word "CAPSTAN"

Can A Person Shoot Threice A Night

Reverse way "No After The Second XXXXX Automatically Collapses"



hoosnaa pasand hai

ek bar ek ladka ek ladki ko paani nahaate huve dekhtaa hai

uski .. bahut laal rehti hai. vo apne dost se poochtaa hai vo itni laal kyu hai.

uskaa dost usko zor se chaata lagaa ta hai aur kehtaa hai tujhe ek baar maarne se itnaa laal huvaa hai

usko kitno ne maara hogaa?



sms jokes

when a man holds a women's hand before marriage ,it is love ,after marriage it is seld-defence



yamraj joke

yamraj: ur time is over

Girl: is there any way to escape?

yamraj: if u can kiss d the person who is rerading this mgs

girl : chee.....yack.... thu.......better i prefer die..........



soldier

During War , Enemy soldier surrounded 3 nuns, he removed his pants , young nun pleaded - " PLS SPARE THE OLDER NUN."

Older Nun - " SHUT UP ! WAR IS WAR"



PHONE

now hutch is vodaphone...

in future BSNL will be Bondaphone,

Aircel will be purifone

Airtel will be idlifone,

and your Phone will be Dabbaphone....

 



java

do u know guys y java lecturers dont give homeworks?...




because its a rule that every java program

must be wirttien inside the class.........







weight machine

hi

hi

hi

cool night.

once upon a time on sunday evening

jayalalitha went airport urgently..

and checked her weight ........

the weight machine answered ...!...

all the passengers are request to come one by one

Jayalalitha : ??????



laptop

who was the first person to have a LAPTOP

GUESS........................

ITS Lord Shiva

Parvathi on LAPand Ganga on TOP!.....

SHAMBO SIVA SHANKARA.................!



interview

Ek aadmi interview dene gaya. boos ne uski file dekhkar kush huaa.

boss ne kaha ---- job to mil jayge . tum kya loge?

sir mujhe one lakh monthly, eak car , aur eak makan.

boss ne kaha,mai tumhe do lakh monthly, do car aur do makan doonga.

aadmi ne kaha- boss majak to nahi kar rahe ho?

boss ne kaha -- pehle kisne kiya.........



numericals

I said one, one - She said fun, fun.

I said two, two - She said do. do

I said three, three - She said free, free.

I said four, four - She said more, more.

I said five, five - She said dive, dive.

I said six, six - She said fix, fix.

I said seven, seven - She said heaven, heaven.

I said eight, eight - She said tight, tight.

I said nine, nine - She said fine, fine.

I said ten, ten - She said done, done.



Story about Story.

At the age of 8 - You need to tell her a story at bed.

At the age of 18 - You need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At the age of 28 - You need not tell her any story to take her to bed.

At the age of 38 - She will tell you a story to go to bed.

At the age of 48 - You need to tell her a story for not going to bed with her.

At the age of 58 - If you go to bed with her, it will be a story.



Suicide

There are two ways to commit 'suicide'.

1. Take a long rope. Tie it around your neck and hang your self.

2. Take a small rope. Tie it around the neck of a girl and marry her.



Relationship Mathematics.

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance.

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage.



The Secret Of Success

Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage.

Adam couldn't talk about his mother's cooking, and

Eve could't mention all the men she could/should have married.



Nonveg dinner

Boy goes out to play with his friends. Shortly comes running to father - " Dad what does bastard mean ? ". Shocked father spontaneously replies " A priest is called a bastard ". Son goes out and returns to ask " Dad what are balls ? ". Father thinks and says " Hat is called balls ". Son goes out to return soon " What what is XXXXXing ?. Aworried father thinks and replies " Having dinner is called XXXXXing. Now son you will not go out. Sit and study." A while later the callbell rings, the son opens the door and on seeing the guest welcomes him " Hi ! Bastard come in,hang your balls on the hook, Mummy and Daddy are XXXXXing upstairs, I will just inform them.



Philosophy

recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why
my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your
wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry

Change!


Santa: I gave my wife 500 Rs after my first night thinking by mistake
thinking that I was in a brothel.

Ganja Sardar

duniya ka sabse chota joke

ganja sardar

Teacher & Student

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the
title 'If I Were a Millionaire'"
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write

I did not come!

Santa, who lived in 6th Floor of an apartment had invited Banta for dinner.
Unfortunately for Banta, the lift was not working. He reached Banta's home
panting.He had a surprise waiting. There was a note on the door which read "

sant & banta

Santa-Yaar, Banta aaj ghar jaake biwi ka panty utarni hai.

Banta-bade mood mein hai aaj.

Its not at allfree


a couplr with assuming as gret lovers, had their sex one day. she was a call
gal, as usual she asked money. he slaped her and said, you cheat incoming