kuchh tabeeyat hee milee thee aisee, chain se jeene kee soorat na huee
jisko chaahaa usse apnaa na sake,jo milaa uss se muhabbat na huee

jis se ab tak mile dil hee se mile,dil jo badlaa to fasaanaa badalaa
rasme-duniyaa ko nibhaane ke liye hamse rishton kee tizaarat na huee

door se thaa vo kaee cheharon men,paas se koee bhee vaisaa na lagaa
bevafaaee bhee usee kaa thaa chalan,phir kisee se bhee shikaayat na huee

waqt roothaa rahaa bachche kee tarhaan rah main koee khilonaa na milaa
dostee bhee to nibhaaee na gayee dushmanee main bhee adaavat na huee

kitaab-e-dil

Afsanoo ki duniya main sab jhoot nahi hota
Dil or bhi uljhaay ga parhiye na meri kitaab ko!!

Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.




Santa runing after a Bus, catches it n asks the Driver: "Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?"
Driver : Nahin.

Santa : To kya Behan lagti hai?

Driver : Nahin.

Santa : To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

 Santa: Murge kaise diye?

Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10

Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?

Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.

Santa: De do mujhe ... khana hai, gaand thode hi marni hai!

Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.




Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.

Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate!

Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasnelagi.

Masterji bole : Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.



Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE



Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they
appear from outside.

Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee, Yahi thee"


Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu yaha ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik tamari agg nahin bujati.

Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy...



Yesterday' s news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.

ek jawan larki bimaar buddhe se marriage kerti hai, uska frnd us se poochta hai tumne aise kyu kiya ? to woh bolti hai 2 reasons hain, ek to inki income aur doosre in ke din kum.

HI

EK BAAR EK AURAT MARNE KE BAAD JISKA PATI PEHLE HI MAR CHUKA HOTA HAI , BHAGWAN KE PAAS JATI HAI . AUR WOH BHAGWAN SE PUCHTI HAI KYA APNE MERE PATI GARIB CHAND KO DEKHA HAI?

YAMRAJ KEHTA HAI ," YAHA PAR TO BAHOT SAARE GARIBCHAND KEHTE HAI , TUM KOI DUSRI PEHCHAN BATAO.

UNKI PARCHUNE KI DUKAN THI , AURAT KEHTI HAI.

YAMRAJ KEHTE HAI AUR PAHCHAN BATAO .

MERE PATI NA KAHA THA JAB ME BEWAFAI KARUNGI TO USKI ATMA ZOR SE SWARG ME CHAKKAR KATEGI.

YAMRAJ- ACHCHA WOH GARIB CHAND USKO TO MENE APNE KAMRE MEIN PANKHE KI JAGAH TAANG RAKHA HAI.

MALIKA SHERAWAT AUR GANDHI


MALIKA SHERAWAT AUR GANDHI MAE KYA FARAQ HAE ?,

GAANDHI NAE MULK KAE LEYEH KADEY UTARE THAY AUR MALIKA SHERAWAT NAE MULK KAE LOGO KAE LEYEH

SUHAGRAT KO ?

Suhaag raat ko

sehwag apni biwi ko chod nahi pa raha tha...

Sehwag: lagta hai pitch sahi nahi hai...

yeh sun kar us ki biwi boli...Afridi isi pich par abhi century bana kar gaya hai...

Sardar ji apni suhaag raat par

Sardar ji apni suhaag raat par apni biwi ki chu...  dhoond rahe the....magar bohat zada hairs ki waja se mil nahi rahi thi....
aakhir 1 hour baad chu... mili to biwi se bole...

"haramzadi idhar ungli rakkh....mein apna lund talaash kar lon....."

mango......


One Technical question:
Where you can find mangoes?







..no it is nt in mango tree





Fruit shop?no wrong.




Ans:
where WOMENgoes there only MANgoes