Monday, January 14, 2008

A 16 yrs girl to old man

A 16 yrs girl to old man---- uncleji lund seedha fudi mein dalo na niche bund mein slip ho raha hai

old man jan de kuriye jan de bhen chod nu gu khan di aadat hai.

mistriji

sardar:- mistriji Bed majbut banana mere munde nu bahu pe chadna hai.

mistri:- aisa majbut bed banaunga ki sara mohalla bahu pe chad jaye to bhi kuch nahi tutega.

desi jokes...

Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,

jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,

jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,

jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.

Similarity btwn WIFE & TEA

South Indian- both r brown by colour.

Punjabi- both r hot & strong

Bengali- both r sweet in taste.

Marathi - UTHLA KI PAHIJE!

Sardar: murge kaise diye.

Murgewala : 40, 30 &10

SAR : Rs. 10 ka itna sasta kyon?

MUR : Saab ise aids hai

SAR : de do, khana hai, sex thodi karna hai

रामदेव बाबा अपने बेटे से: बेटा अपने से बड़ी औरतो को मा समझो, अपने से छोटी को बेटी समझो और अपने बराबर की लड़की को बहन समझो
बेटा: ठीक है तो ये लं....  भी आप ही रख लो जड़ी बूटी कूटने के काम आएगा

A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"

A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!







A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happines






1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked.

The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".

The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on" The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

"Your horse phoned!"

boss n secretary

A boss has to interview four girls for a secretary's position.

He thought of a question and asked each one of them: "A woman normally has two mouths, What's the difference between the two?"

The first one answered: One can talk but the other can't.

Second answered: one is vertical and the other is horizontal.

Third answered: one is hairy, the other isn't.

The last one answered: One is for my use and the other is for my boss.

Boss: You're hired!

the ultimate truth of lyfe iz dat.....
"success alwayz kisses u in private...
but failure alwayz fucks u in public!!"

santa singh: i got old age pension after showing grey hair on my chest.

wife: pant ki zip bhi khol dete, disability allowance bhi mil jata.

Don't Rub This!

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face.

Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board.

Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"

Once Santa asks Banta: There are 100s of people who climb a bus in a day, still the bus doesn't get pregnant! Why?

Banta: Because people climb from behind, thats why!

Santa: But the Driver and the conductor climb from the front?

Banta: The driver and the the conductor always wear caps!

A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area & asked for her profession.

Prostitute: I'm a social engineer.

Policeman: What do u do?

Prostitute: I build & destroy erections

A Kid asks a priest,

"Father what is your favourite time pass?"

The Priest replies,

"Nun my son, Nun"!!!

Ladies Hostel

Ladies Hostel's warden calls the MSEB & says, "Aaj toh aadmi kaam pe bhej do, ladkiyaan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain."

Newton's 4th Law of Motion :

If u run around atree with the speed of light, u'll fuck u'r own ass.

Sachha Deshpremi kaun hai?

Ans. The one sitting on an English toilet in desi style.

A sardar kid was beaten on his bum by teacher. He went home & for the 1st time saw his butt in the mirror & exclaimed sorrowfully, "Saali ne maar maar kar do tukde kar diye!"