Once Santa and Banta happened to be together in Delhi. Having excursion tickets, they boarded a DTC double decker. Banta, finding no vacant seat in the lower deck, went to the upper deck and took a seat.

He was surprised to see that there was no driver in the upper deck. Showing his anxiety, he asked Santa if there was a driver in the lower deck.

Promptly came the reply that there was indeed a driver.

Banta than said, 'Utte te wahe guru challanda pia hia!' (God is driving this upper deck himself).

Gopi and Ramu were out cutting wood, and Ramu accidentally cut his arm off. Gopi wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took Ramu to a surgeon.

The surgeon said 'You're in luck! I'm an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in 5 hours.'

So Gopi left and when he returned in 5 hours the surgeon said 'I got done quicker than I expected. Ramu is down at the movies.' Gopi went to the movies and there was Ramu, clapping at the screen.

A few weeks later, Gopi and Ramu were cutting wood again, and Ramu cut his leg off. Gopi put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and Ramu back to the surgeon.

The surgeon said 'No problem, but legs are a little tougher. Come back in 8 hours.'
Gopi left and when he came back in 6 hours the surgeon said 'I finished early, Ramu's down at the soccer field.' Gopi went down to the soccer field and there was Ramu, kicking goals.

A few weeks later, Ramu had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Gopi put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of Ramu to the surgeon.

The surgeon looked at the situation and said 'Gosh, heads are really tough. Come back on 12 hours.'

So Gopi left and when he returned in twelve hours the surgeon said regretfully 'I'm sorry, Ramu died.'

Gopi said 'I understand - heads are tough.'

The surgeon said, 'Oh no! The surgery went fine! Ramu suffocated in that plastic bag.'

Santa Singh is riding a scooter on the highway with his wife behind him.

His wife moves her hand closer to the guys zip and he increases the speed of the scooter to 60 kmph. She openes the zip and the speed goes up to 80kmph.

She holds his thing and the speed goes to 100kmph, she holds it even more tightly now and the speed of the scooter goes up to 120kmph. At this point a truck comes from the opposite direction and there is an accident. Santa Singh is thrown on one side of the road and his wife on the other.

The driver of the truck comes up to Santa and says, 'Arre sardarji aapto baal baal bach gaye!'

Santa Singh replies in pain, 'Baal baal to bach gaye lekin maal to vo le gayee.....'

A guy and his girlfriend were going on a romantic long drive. Suddenly, the guy, who is driving the car pulls up on the side of the highway and starts to take his clothes off.

His girlfriend asks, 'What are you doing? What if someone sees us here?'

The guys tells her, 'If you want we can go under the car and have our fun.' She agrees, but asks, 'What if someone sees us below the car?'

The guy tells her, 'Then we can tell them that we are checking for a leak in the gas tank.'

So under the car they go, and have the time of their life.

Some time later a cop comes and shouts to the couple, 'What the hell do you think you are doing?' So the couple give him the answer saying, 'We are checking for a leak in the gas tank.'

The cop shouts back at them, 'You should have checked your brakes first. You car has rolled down the slope!'

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.

After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath.

The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.

The clerk replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!

Laloo Yadav was at a convention about the paranormal, ghosts, strange happenings and the people who had experienced them. After a while, the speaker asked the people in attendance, 'How many people have actually seen a ghost?'

Almost all the people in the room raised their hands.

A short time later, he asked, 'How many people here have actually communicated with a ghost?'

About a third of the room raised their hands to answer.

Then finally, the speaker asked, 'How many of you have made love to a ghost?'

This time, only Laloo raised his hand. The speaker was shocked and walked to up to Laloo and asked 'You have actually made love to a ghost?!'

Laloo replied, 'GHOST?!?! I thought you said GOAT!!'

Hari and Gani walked toward each other on a country road.

Hari carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. 'Hey Bhai,' Gani drawled, 'What's in the bag?'

'Chickens,' was the reply.

'If I guess how many, can I have one?'

'You can have both of them.'

'OK, Five?'

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!'

After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up.

The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Santa?'

'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

At 11.55pm, Banta Singh was watching television at home. He began to get nervous because it was almost 12pm. He was worried that stupid things done by sardarjis would soon start being reported on TV.

He wondered how he could stop this? Switching off his TV was not enough, since all his neighbours would be watching and they would get to see any reports that came up on TV. So Banta got up and rushed out. Posing a TV repairman, he went to twelve of neighbours houses and damaged their TV sets.

When he returned to home his TV ws showing the news: 'Mad Sardaji causes havoc in neigbourhood!'. Banta felt quite pleased with himself, 'Good thing I destroyed all those TV sets! I knew this was going to happen!'

As the crowded elevator descended down Bihar Bhavan, Rabri Devi became increasingly furious with her husband, Laloo Yadav, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young girl. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the beautiful girl suddenly whirled, slapped Laloo, and said, 'That will teach you to pinch!'

Bewildered, Laloo Yadav was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, 'I... I... didn't pinch that girl.'

'Of course you didn't,' said Rabri, consolingly. 'I did.'

One Bengali Babu went to Cannought Place in New Delhi to purchase an umbrella. He had been told in Calcutta that one could bargain for better prices in Delhi also.

Bengali Baboo: How much does this umbrella cost?

Shopkeeper: Rs. 200

Bengali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 100?

Shopkeeper: Ok I'll give it to you for Rs.150.

Bangali Babu: Well can I have it for Rs. 75 then?

Shopkeeper: OK, take it for Rs. 100.

Bangali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 50?

Ths shopkeeper is pretty angry now: Why don't you take it for free??!!

Bengali Babu: OK, can I have two of them?

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in India when a young Indian lawyer approached him and asked, 'Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?'

When told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Hindi. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.

'No, no,' he replied. 'We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks.'