baap or beta
ek barr ek aadmi apne 6 saal ke bachee ko cycle mai bitha kar market jaa raha hota hai, tabhi bacha do kutoo do chudai karte dekh leta hai or apne baap se kheta hai--- bapu bapuuu, ye kutta dusree per chada kyo hai, toh uska bapp sochata kya kahu, toh vo kheta hai -- betaa uper vala kutta bemar hai neeche valaa use doctor ke pass lejaa raha hai, toh bachaa kheta hai , bapuuu ek toh neeche valaa use doctar ke pass le ja raha hai uper se uper vala uskii gand mar raha hai............
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
a conversation b-w husband and wife..
W : jaanu.. kurta nikaal do.. tab ho jaayega..
H : nahii hua hai ab bhee..
W : ...salwar bhee nikaalo na.. dekh kya rahe ho...
H : ab bhee nahiin hua hai..
W : oh come on.. press it... tightly.. pusht it a bit.. ho jaayega
aisa karo.. tum baith jao us par.. phir to ho jaayega pakke se..
H : aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ab hua na...
aisa pata hota toh pehle hee suitcase par baith jaata band karne ke liye
W : jaanu.. kurta nikaal do.. tab ho jaayega..
H : nahii hua hai ab bhee..
W : ...salwar bhee nikaalo na.. dekh kya rahe ho...
H : ab bhee nahiin hua hai..
W : oh come on.. press it... tightly.. pusht it a bit.. ho jaayega
aisa karo.. tum baith jao us par.. phir to ho jaayega pakke se..
H : aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ab hua na...
aisa pata hota toh pehle hee suitcase par baith jaata band karne ke liye
Password Problem
Bhola calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with his password.
No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," he says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains,
"so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
"Yeah," he says,
"but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."
********
Bhola calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with his password.
No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," he says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains,
"so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
"Yeah," he says,
"but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."
********
Extreme sexual exhaustion
The teacher gave a writing assignment. He said the only excuss for not turning in the paper would be severe illness.
A student asked "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The teacher thought about it for a minute and responded "No. You'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."
The teacher gave a writing assignment. He said the only excuss for not turning in the paper would be severe illness.
A student asked "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The teacher thought about it for a minute and responded "No. You'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."
Various stages in girls life
Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
After 56, she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn.
Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
After 56, she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn.
Tattoo on dick
A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd like you to tattoo a one-hundred dollar bill onto my dick."
The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot. Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?"
The man answers, "Three reasons:
I like to watch my money grow
I like to play with my money
And next time my wife wants to blow a-hundred bucks she won't have to leave the house!"
A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd like you to tattoo a one-hundred dollar bill onto my dick."
The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot. Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?"
The man answers, "Three reasons:
I like to watch my money grow
I like to play with my money
And next time my wife wants to blow a-hundred bucks she won't have to leave the house!"
Oh Ladies
Guys have feelings too. But, like, who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude, and I know how to use it.
Remember my name -- you'll be screaming it later.
You KNOW you want me.
Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time!
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
Sorry Ladies ... I had to!
Guys have feelings too. But, like, who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude, and I know how to use it.
Remember my name -- you'll be screaming it later.
You KNOW you want me.
Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time!
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
Sorry Ladies ... I had to!
Repeat performance
A young woman had given birth in the elevator of a New Delhi hospital, and was embarrassed about it.
One of the Doctors, in an effort to console her, said, "Don t feel bad. Why, only two years ago a lady delivered in the front yard of the hospital."
With that the new mother burst out crying. "I know," she said. "That was me, too."
A young woman had given birth in the elevator of a New Delhi hospital, and was embarrassed about it.
One of the Doctors, in an effort to console her, said, "Don t feel bad. Why, only two years ago a lady delivered in the front yard of the hospital."
With that the new mother burst out crying. "I know," she said. "That was me, too."
Woman showing naked body in garden
A woman's garden was growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes wouldn't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she had tried them all.
So she went to her neighbor and asked, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?"
Her neighbor replied, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see."
It sounded strange, but she was very tired of green tomatoes, so she gave it a try.
The next day her neighbor asked how it had worked.
"So-so," she answered. "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."
A woman's garden was growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes wouldn't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she had tried them all.
So she went to her neighbor and asked, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?"
Her neighbor replied, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see."
It sounded strange, but she was very tired of green tomatoes, so she gave it a try.
The next day her neighbor asked how it had worked.
"So-so," she answered. "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."
Still a Virgin?
Bcoz NO-KIA
Why no Kiya?
Bcoz no eric-son
Why no erection?
Bcoz no sie-mens,
Why?
Bcoz No
mota-laura
So looking for
a re-alliance?
*********************************************
A Lady call the gynaecologist & asks ……….
have i forgotten my panties there……??
No says the gynaec..its not here….
Lady…..Never mind…..it must be at the Dentists place….
LOVE VS MARRIAGE
Joke: Love vs Marriage
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"
Conclusion: "Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!"
Joke: Love vs Marriage
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"
Conclusion: "Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!"
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