Bill Clinton decided to 'teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over
to the US.
Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they
should not be disturbed during the tuition inside the Whitehouse, they
are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English. Days
pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.The
whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and press,
newsreporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to
find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo
- beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled.
However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is
completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face. The
shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton ?" Bill replies
: "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"
Friday, December 21, 2007
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
**********
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
**********
How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
*********
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
*********
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
**********
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
**********
How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
*********
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
*********
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.
lady is intelligent
A blond named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it... A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it's a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million." Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo." Regis: "Is that your final answer?" Barbara: "It is" Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping champagne,
Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!"
Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"
A blond named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it... A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it's a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million." Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo." Regis: "Is that your final answer?" Barbara: "It is" Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping champagne,
Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!"
Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"
Dan got a frantic call from his blond girlfriend.
"I've got a problem," she said.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.
None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any
edges."
"What's the picture of?"
"A big rooster."
"All right, " Dan said. "I'll come over and take a look."
The woman led Dan into her kitchen and showed him the
puzzle on the table.
"For Pete's sake Buffy, put the Corn Flakes back in the box!"
"I've got a problem," she said.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.
None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any
edges."
"What's the picture of?"
"A big rooster."
"All right, " Dan said. "I'll come over and take a look."
The woman led Dan into her kitchen and showed him the
puzzle on the table.
"For Pete's sake Buffy, put the Corn Flakes back in the box!"
General jokes
Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object.
Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, everybody thinks you are very beautiful."
"Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?"
"A good report card next month," he replied.
Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object.
Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, everybody thinks you are very beautiful."
"Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?"
"A good report card next month," he replied.
Scottish Girlfriend
A Scottish girlfriend is giving directions to her prospective boyfriend, who is coming to visit her.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in Apartment 14A .There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14A . Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow press 14. When you get out of the elevator, my apartment is on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.
"Baby, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? asked the boyfriend.
"Darling, you're not coming empty handed... are you?" said the scottish girl.
Moral of the story:
Never go to ur Girl Friend's home empty handed.
A Scottish girlfriend is giving directions to her prospective boyfriend, who is coming to visit her.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in Apartment 14A .There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14A . Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow press 14. When you get out of the elevator, my apartment is on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.
"Baby, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? asked the boyfriend.
"Darling, you're not coming empty handed... are you?" said the scottish girl.
Moral of the story:
Never go to ur Girl Friend's home empty handed.
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