Friday, January 25, 2008

Boy: teri judaai me neend udti hai,

Chain khota hai, jaan jati hai,

Dil rota hai…!

Girl: doctor ko dikha lo bhaiya

‘Dengu’ bhi aise hee hota hai

What is marketing?


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing


You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Tele-marketing.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride
You then say:
"By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says:
"You are very rich..."
That's Brand Recognition.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say:
"I'm rich. Marry me."
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.







Teacher name the thing which carries more weight but has very less weight....

student that's your ''BRA'' madam




NOW A DAYS LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TAKING TRAINS VIA AGRA, BECAUSE WHEN THEY REACH HOME, THEY JUMP ON THEIR WIVES LIKE RED BULLS DUE TO VIAGRA.

Once a Sardar was looking at a " WANTED" Poster and was wondering-

Saala "WANTED" tha to..... photo kheechne ke baad usse Janne Kyon Diya?




Sardarji : What is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know it means

S_Sardaron ke M_Mazak udane ki S_Service

Sardar 1 : ???????????????//

Sardar watching STAR PLUS.........

Suddenly, Announcement comes---

"U R WATCHING STAR PLUS"...

HE Wonders Oye..................

How did they know that i'm watching STAR PLUS.............

All Electrons were in party .

Protons attacked them. A Hero saves them.

ELECTRONS asked

"WHO ARE YOU"

Hero said

BOND!

COVALENT BOND.............

Q: How do you recognize Santa's Son Pappu in School?

A: He is the one who erases the book when the teacher erases the board.



EMPLOYEE:- BOSS Now i have got married , please increase my salary

BOSS:- Factory is not responsible for accidents,

outside Company :*

ardar was writing the Passive voice of "I MADE A MISTAKE"


Guess what would he wrote?



"I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE"




ek sardar talab ke kinare ghoom raha tha,

use ek medhak bahar baitha hu mila,

usne us medhak se puchha ,

Sardaro me akal nahi hoti kya , medhak ne jawab me bola nahi aur pani me kud gaya.

Sardar bola isme pani me kud kar sucide karne wali kya baat thi...........................
Santa Singh was going somewhere.

A bird flying in the sky does 'shit' (toilet) on him.

He gets angry and says "Oye, nappi (chaddi) nahi pahan tha kya ?",

The bird replies "Aap nappi (chaddi) mein karte ho kya ?"
Romance of sardar sardarni

Sardarji: Sardarni se kehte aaj koi aise baat karo ki mere Paun (foot) zameen pe na lagein.

sardarni: Kanjra fansi la le.

sardarji bibi ko 2 chante lagate hue- admi jisko pyar karta hai ussi ko marta hai.

bibi sardarji ko 4 chante lagte hue- to dekho ji mai apse kitna pyar karti hu

Teacher : What happened in 1869 ?

Sardar : I dont Know ...

Teacher : Stupid . Gandhiji was born ...

Now tel me , What happened in 1873 ?

Sardar : Gandhiji became 4 years old .........!

Son : Going Deep Water.

Father : Jyada ander mat ja dub jayega .

Son : Nahi Dubunga..

Father : Saale Agar Duba to Ghar Jake Bahut Marunga..........!

1 BOLA : B.S.N.L KA GHOSHVAKAYA HAI" CONNECTING INDIA"

2SRA BOLA: NAHI, "DISCONNECTING INDIA"

1 BOLA :"AISA KYO BHAI?

2SRA BOLA: MOBLIE HO YA LANDLINE , EK DUSARAI KI AWAAZ HI SUNAI NAHI DETI HAI.

"HAI NA DISCONNECTING INDIA"

On FIRST NIGHT boy sucked only Boobs of his wife..

Next day Ma boli

Beta nahali..

Angry Wife boli.

MAAJI. Sirf BRUSH karvalo baaki sab SAAF hai.

Men went to RED LLIGHT AREA . DALAL ne prostitute k naam cars k naam pe rakhey the.

DALAL - Kaun se chahiye ? corolla 7000.Skoda-6000.Honda 5000.Beleno 2000 yo Tata Nano 100 ?

Man ordred Nano and was shocked to see a HIJADA.

Man - ye kya hai ?

DALAL - Sir, NANO ka engine peechhe hota hai

EK ADMI NE NAI JAGAH PAR JOIN KIYA AUR BADE STYLE MAIN INTERCOM MILAYA AUR BOLA WAITER DO GLASS PANI AUR EK COFFEE LAO TURANT, DUSRI TARF SE AWAJ AAI TUMHE PATA HAI KI TUM KISSE BAT KAR RAHE USEN KAHA KI NAHI TO DUSERE NE BOLA KI MAIN ES COMPANY KA MANAGING DIRECTOR BOL RAHA HOON, TO US ADMI NE MANAGING DIRECTOR SE PUCHA TUMHE PATA HAI KI TUM KISSE BAT KAR RAHE HO TO MANAGING DIRECOR NE KAHA NAHI TO US ADMI NE TURANT PHONE RAKH DIA...........
Ek Sardar Ji Mut Rahae The to pass se ek ladki nikli usne sadar ji ko dekha to rasta badalne lagi, use dekh kar sardar ji bole are daro nahi jis se tum dar rahi ho use mene pakad rakha hai.
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Sardarji bibi to do chante marte hua-- admi jisko pya karta hai usi ko marta hai

Bibi sardar ko do chante marte hue boli lo dekho ji main tumhen kitna pyar karti haun
Sardar ji talking to mosquite.

Try to understand me.

Don.t Distrub me.

Leave me alone.

Last naight i did't sleep thinking of u.

Dont play with my life ........................... . . . . .


Sardar ji talking to mosquite.
Sardar In Briefs !!!

Once a sardar was writing an exam and there was a Beautiful female invigilator. Sardar suddenly removed his clothes and remained in just briefs..

The lady shouted and asked sardar of his shameless act!!!

Sardar Replied !!! what can i do there is a question in the paper and the examiner asked to answer that question in """ BRIEF"""

Sardarji Ka Jawwab nahi

A Sardarji went to a bank to open his account, took an application form ! then suddenly went to Delhi and returned back after a while then again took a new form b,coz he had lost it while travelling and again went to Delhi.
When he returned back few days later he started shouting at the bank staff and there was a scene out there.
the manager intervened and took sardarji in his cabin offered him a tea then asked about his problem.
Sardarji replied """ Is this a way of cutomer service by the bank "" Sardar complained that in the application form it is mentioned """" WRITE IN CAPITAL"""

Cement Mein jaan hai!

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

Santa: Birla cement.

Banta: Kyun?

Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.