gentleman
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!
Friday, December 28, 2007
A doctor
A doctor was having an affair with his Italian-born nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of all the child's expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home, and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked her what she thought might have caused the cardiac arrest. The wife picked up the card and read it to him: "Four Spaghettis: Two with sausage and meatballs, two
A doctor was having an affair with his Italian-born nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of all the child's expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home, and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked her what she thought might have caused the cardiac arrest. The wife picked up the card and read it to him: "Four Spaghettis: Two with sausage and meatballs, two
psychiatrist
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go.
AIDS
Ek baar ek ladka U.S jata hai aur use AIDS ho jata hai.Woh apni maa ko phone karta hai aur use sab batata hai.
Ladka- maa mujhe AIDS hua hai,Kya mein ghar aa jau.
Maa-nehi beta tu ghar mat aa.
Ladka-Aakhir Kyun maa,mein ghar Kyun nehi aa sakta
Maa- dekh beta agar tu ghar aya, to tujse tere behen ko AIDS hogi , Tere behen se tere baap ko AIDS hoga , tere baap se mujhe AIDS hoga , Mujse tere chacha ko AIDS hoga , Tere chacha se tere chachi ko AIDS hogi aur teri chachi se pure mohelley ko AIDS hoga
Ek baar ek ladka U.S jata hai aur use AIDS ho jata hai.Woh apni maa ko phone karta hai aur use sab batata hai.
Ladka- maa mujhe AIDS hua hai,Kya mein ghar aa jau.
Maa-nehi beta tu ghar mat aa.
Ladka-Aakhir Kyun maa,mein ghar Kyun nehi aa sakta
Maa- dekh beta agar tu ghar aya, to tujse tere behen ko AIDS hogi , Tere behen se tere baap ko AIDS hoga , tere baap se mujhe AIDS hoga , Mujse tere chacha ko AIDS hoga , Tere chacha se tere chachi ko AIDS hogi aur teri chachi se pure mohelley ko AIDS hoga
Rain
Sardar ji had a big house and nice lawns. He felt that his gardener is not working properly and sitting all the time.
Sardar ji: "Kyu re, aisa hi baita rahega ya garden mein paani bi marega?
Maali: "Sahab, subah se bahut baarish ho rahi hain"
Sardar ji: "Oye, tho chatri pakad kar paani maar naa..."
Sardar ji had a big house and nice lawns. He felt that his gardener is not working properly and sitting all the time.
Sardar ji: "Kyu re, aisa hi baita rahega ya garden mein paani bi marega?
Maali: "Sahab, subah se bahut baarish ho rahi hain"
Sardar ji: "Oye, tho chatri pakad kar paani maar naa..."
Choti
Ekbar ek train main ek Sardar our ek pandit ja rahe thhe achanak sardar pandit ka Choti dekhke bola yea kya hai bal ki dukan.
Pandit bola yea satelite antena hai jise hum iswar ke bat sunte hai.
Sardar ko gussa aa gaya wo apni pagdi khol ke uska lamba bal dikha ke bola to phir humko sunai ku nahi deta hai.
Phir pandit bola iswar ke bat antina se ata to hai lakin tumhare Dadhi se earthing ho ke nikal jata hai....
Ekbar ek train main ek Sardar our ek pandit ja rahe thhe achanak sardar pandit ka Choti dekhke bola yea kya hai bal ki dukan.
Pandit bola yea satelite antena hai jise hum iswar ke bat sunte hai.
Sardar ko gussa aa gaya wo apni pagdi khol ke uska lamba bal dikha ke bola to phir humko sunai ku nahi deta hai.
Phir pandit bola iswar ke bat antina se ata to hai lakin tumhare Dadhi se earthing ho ke nikal jata hai....
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