Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Lady standing at bus stop taking Whisper pack in her hand.

Begger:Bai kuch dede.

Lady: No change.

Begger: Ye bread ka packet de de.

Lady: Kal aana, JAM laga ke dungi.

SANTA IN USA WAS MASTURBATING LOOKING TOWARDS SKY.

BANTA PASSING BY ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING.

SANTA REPLIED "I AM FUCKING MY WIFE IN INDIA THRU SATTELITE."

Nurse to Boy: Tum kitna kamaa lete ho.

Boy:1500 aur upar se 2000, aur tum?

Nurse: 1000 aur niche se 5000.

One hakla went for interview & was asked to say -
Institute,Obstitute & Substitute.
Hakla said: Inkichut, Aapkichut & Sabkichut !!

One day sardar did not get erection while having sex so he put his cock in a tub of water. His wife was zapped, so he told her: Dekh raha hu ki puncture hai kya.
Man: Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.

Doc: do u have girlfriend?
Man: "no"

Doc:do u visit pros?
Man: "no"

Doc: do u go 4 mujra?
Man: "no"

Doc:"to khada karke uspar kya coat taangega?"

Santa and banta


What do santa nad banta says to each other if they share thesame girl?

Ans: assi tussi same pussy, kabhi tu ghussy kabhi mein ghussy.

Lady

A young lady went into a bank to withdraw some money.
Clerk - "Can you identify yourself?"
Young lady took out the mirror from her bag and looked into it and said: "Yes, it's me all right."



Husband n Wife

Wife - Ek baat bolu? marna mat..

Husb - Bolo

W - Main Pregnant hun.

H - Ye to khushi ki baat hai.

W - College life me ek baar Papa ko bataya tha to bahut maar padi thi.



Today is sunday

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents.


EMail se shadi

Once Lalu went to USA. Bill Clinton: Hamare desh mein aaj kal shai email se hoti hai. Surprised Lalu said: Per Hum log to sirf female se hi shadi karten hain.


footprints

Story : 1 One day a man was having a conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" to which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you." Story : 2 Another day a S/W Programmer was having a similar conversation with his PM when his whole project flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. He asked his PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"


Laloo....

Laloo was travelling in an airplane....
Airhostess: Sir are u a vegetraian or a nonvegetarian??
Laloo : I am an Indian....
Airhostess : ohh....mera matlab hain kya aap shakahari ho ya mansahaari??
Laloo : arey oh budbak....hum toh Bihari hain.....


SARDAAR POLICEWALA

Ek Sardar Policewala sadak pe ja rahaa tha.Tabhi wo ruka aur jhuk kar bola,
"SAALE LOG, TATTI BHI AISE KARTE HAI, JAISE SAMOSA PADA HO"



World Cup

there was one Indian and one black man in a turkish hammam.
While taking bath the black man ask indian why you wrote AR at your ASS.
The Indian hesitantly said, this is my wife name's initials.
Black man asked what do you mean by AR.
He said Aishwariya Rai.
The Indian found that the Black man also had tatoo at his ASS and was written fgwcj.
The Indian asked black man, you love your wife also and you also wrote her initials at your ASS.
Whats her name, the Indian asked him anxiously.
Black man laugh and said nothing man.
It is sounds, World XXXXXing Girls World Cup in Jamaica.
Lagi kya Sorry

Ek Bar ek Chuha ek Hati ko nariwal tree ke niche Chod raha tha usbakt ek narial hati ke mundi par gira to hati boli Oh ,Uh ,Uh

Chuha bola lag raha hai thik hai main dhere dhere Kor raha hu

Ek bar ek pati ko uski Biwi jor se lafa(Chapad )mara.

Pati ne turant eske Biwi ko pucha tum ea seriously mare ya Mazak se . Biwi Boli Seriously.


phir Pati ne Bola to phir thik hai.

Aj se jan Lo Mazak mujhe thoda sa bi pasand nahi Hai


Sardarji: Sardarni se kehte aaj koi aise baat karo ki mere Paun (foot) zameen pe na lagein.

sardarni: Kanjra fansi la le.

computer - computer

How can you tell if a blonde was at a computer?
There is white out all over the screen.