officer--dekho,humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho,chust,chalak aur chaukanna ho,jarurat parne par jisse hum daaT bhi saake..

yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai....

k aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare...


thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola.."sahebji sahebji kutteji'ne murgi'ji ko pakar liya hai...."

Asked my friend how he feels now after marrying the girl, whom he had dated for nearly 10 years.

He replies

Well before marriage it was like Airtel " AISA AZADI AUR KAHAN"

But now it's like Hutch " WHEREVER YOU GO THE NETWORK FOLLOWS."

A Paki, Bangladeshi and a Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Paki drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Sardar , cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Paki and Bangladeshi. He says "In Delhi we have so many Pakis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

ladki ke piche koi ungali de ke bhag gaya. piche 65 kal ka baba tha.

ladki boli baba miss call app ne di kya?

baba apni dhoti utha ke bola meri to validity hi katam hai.

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex.

He said, "I'd like to have one too."

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said, "I don't care what she looks like."

Then I said, "You don't undertand. I've had Sex
since I was nine years old."

He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex.

I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets.

"But you don't understand," I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."

The judge said, "Me too."

Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"

I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

BOY May I hold your hand?
GIRL No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY You love me...

GIRL If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY Don't you ever want to improve??

Qs.-Who's the greatest terrorist of the World?

A.- WOMAN - Coz she has the power to collapse a tower every night

Qs.- And Who's the greatest builder?

A.- WOMAN AGAIN
Coz every night she reconstructs te tower se as just felled.

SARDAR- oh yeh roz raat ko condom use karte karte mai pareshan ho gaya hoon

SARDARNI- aakhir mein aap to bahat bekoof nikle- lamination kiun nahi karwa lete?

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LADY- I feel I have an infection in my vagina

DOCTOR- Well.... When was it that you last had sex

LADY - About 6 months back

DOCTOR - Then thant is not infection.... that's RUST

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